Boundries

Good afternoon y'all! I hope that your day is going well. Mine is definitely better than yesterday. I have been struggling with some things in the past week or so. And one of the things that come to mind is setting boundaries. I try to be a kind-hearted woman but I am honest as well. Sometimes it is hard to be both. And sometimes I fail at both but it is what I strive for. My mother-in-law didn't like me a whole lot (probably because no woman was good enough for her boy) but she did respect me after getting to know me. She would even call me and say "I called you because I know you will be honest with me." Now how great is that to hear from your mother-in-law! RIP Mrs. Shafer. I think that if we had had more time, we might have even become friends. But I sat pretty clear boundaries with her. I was always honest with her and I would try to help if I could. 

But sometimes, people think that if you are kind-hearted, that you are weak and they can treat you however they want. And I will say that this is on me. People only use you if you allow it. This is where boundaries come in. My counselor told me about a kids book called "The Giving Tree". I had never heard of it. But the jest of it is that at first the boy ate all of the apples, then started chopping the tree down and by the time the boy was finished, there was nothing left for the tree to give. I will have to look the book up!

I don't usually hold a grudge and I get over stuff pretty quick. There are a couple of things that I can't "get over". One is lying, if you lie to me, you will probably lie again. Second is trying to control me. It took me a good long time to stop trying to control others because it would only bring me frustration. Because, of course, I can't control anyone. But I can set boundaries to not allow anyone to have control over me or my emotions. I am responsible for ME! I control how I react to situations. I have to sleep in my own skin at night. 

Don't get me wrong, setting boundaries is not always easy but it is healthy. And usually when you set boundaries it's because someone has crossed them and it's never comfortable, especially to the one that crossed over your boundary.