Friendships

Good morning everyone! I’ve been sitting up drinking coffee this morning reflecting on the get-together we had yesterday. I really want to thank everyone for coming at such short notice, Bernice, Mikka, Karen, Rob, Tammy, Waldine, and George. It made my husbands birthday very special. After all had left yesterday, I began thinking of friendships and what that means.

I had a very close friendship in high school and I thought that we would grow old and our children would be friends just like us. That’s not how it turned out. When our friendship died, a part of me died as well. And it hurt beyond words. The one person who could finish my sentences for me had turned her back on me. I think that I closed myself off to friendships because I didn’t want to be hurt that way again. I was in my second marriage and truly needed a friend.

Don’t get me wrong, I knew the reasons that she did it and I would probably have done the same thing in her shoes. But that didn’t make it hurt any less. One thing that I have learned over the years is that unless you are in someone’s shoes, you can’t judge their decisions. Of course, I didn’t think of it that way at the time. All I thought of was that it hurt me, and I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt me like that again. So, for all these years, I haven’t let anyone get this close to me.

But now thinking back, I realize that I have limited myself so severely that it is sad. I have put a little cocoon around me and made myself lonely when there was no need. What I have found is that I expect everyone to treat me how I treat them, but this isn’t realistic because they aren’t me. I am not saying that I have lowered my expectations, I just don’t expect everyone to do as I do. Accepting others for who they are is the key for me.

I have such a wide range of friends now. Each one brings their own unique personality to my life. I learn everyday how much fun they are and love learning about who they are. Friendship isn’t about liking every detail about someone, heck, I’m pretty darn sure that there are things about me that others don’t like.

I am finding that these friends enrich my life more than I can put into words. I should say this more but am still struggling with letting others know how I feel for fear of being hurt. But I don’t want to let fear run my life. Thank you God for putting these special people in my life!