Faith

Good Sunday morning! I hope that your day is starting out beautifully. Mine is good. I thank God for waking me up and allowing me to get out of bed on my own. I just finished a Mexican Chicken and Cornbread Casserole and it is in the oven. We are having a potluck lunch after our service. I missed church last week because of my back pain but I don’t want to miss today. I find that I need this to help me have a good week.

I guess this is as good a time as any to discuss my faith. I believe in God and have accepted Him into my life as my Lord and Savior. I know that He exist because He has shown Himself in my life so many times. I have read some of the bible and love Sunday school because I learn so much. I believe that if anyone reads Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John of the New Testament that they will feel in their hearts that Jesus did so much for us. The life He lead, the roads He traveled, the miracles that He performed, and ultimately the sacrifice He gave for me. I have no doubt that He has walked with me through my travels and carried me when I couldn’t keep going.

Where I have my problems is that I can’t seem to keep myself focused on him. I have a hard time talking to others about what He has done for me. Most of the time I don’t feel as if I belong with other Christians. I don’t feel educated enough to discuss the bible. I know that all of this is on me and no one else. To educate myself, I must take the time to learn the bible. This is where I have most of my issues. I cannot seem to make myself do this. I know that I am busy, but I have a bible app on my phone so there really is no excuse.

I feel ashamed of myself for not doing this, because He has been with me my whole life. He was there through my abusive marriage, my addiction, my time away from my children, through a sickness that even the doctors didn’t think I would live through. He has been at my side as I have battled depression and He has blessed me more times over as we started a new journey with four of our grandchildren. I know that he has forgiven me for all my sins because I simply asked. But I think that the problem here is that I haven’t forgiven myself. I know that I don’t deserve all that He has done for me but that is what they call Grace.

This is where I am and where I struggle. I am going to start today anew and focus my life on Him. I hope that y’all have a wonderful Sunday and dwell in the light of the Lord!