This picture sums up how I am feeling this morning. This wouldn't be true journaling if I didn't have bad days. I'm not always cheerful though I do try to be thankful. It's difficult at times. So what's got me feeling this way? First, my stomach is hurting and I am wanting a cigarette this morning! I fixed me some coffee and starting writing on here to see if that helps me. Writing usually does make me feel better.

I'm a little frustrated with my husband. I'm sure that none of you have ever felt that way! 😀😀
We are raising 4 of our grandchildren and him and I have TOTALLY different parenting ways and our upbringing was totally different as well. That makes it hard. Of course we are old fashioned compared to young parents of today. And the differences between us causes problems. And for some reason, we are having a hard time getting on the same page.

I think that I will call my counselor and see if she has some time for me this week. Sometimes I can't see the answers when they are right in front of me. I use to be extremely depressed. I never left my house, I usually didn't even put on clothes, just stayed in the pj's. I stayed in my laundry room because that is where I smoked. I wouldn't always answer my phone. Now don't get me wrong, I had an excuse for each one of these things like I was saving money by not changing clothes and making more laundry. My hubby had to go right by the store on his way home. I had a pinched nerve and was going to physical therapy. The therapist asked me if I had a counselor that I spoke with. I said no with exasperation.

She told me about this counseling group that was the next door down from therapy. I said that I would stop by and talk to them (I didn't). I did, however, stop by the door and read what was on it. I started to read "New Horizons Geriatric ....." and I walked off thinking 'I don't need no geriatric counseling, I am not that old.'  A week later, the therapist asked me if I had stopped by New Horizons yet. I grumbled in my head and said no, not yet. Dang it, now I felt obligated to at least go in that door.

So I walked in and oh my goodness, these ladies were crazy! They were so friendly and smiling. The RN took me back to her office. It was more like a home office. Extremely comfortable and welcoming. We talked and she wrote and typed. By the end of the session, she informed me that I was extremely depressed (are you kidding me?). I left her office and thought "oh they find everyone depressed just so that they have clients" so when I got home I did 3 or 4 test on the internet because at least they weren't bias. Guess what each one said? You got it "Extremely Depressed" Really? Let me back a bit here, my daughter has been telling me for a couple of years that she thought that it would be a good idea for me to see a counselor. I didn't listen because I didn't want to believe.

The counseling that I received was intensive outpatient. We had group 3 times a week and each time was about 2 hours. I was in it for 4 months. I will say that I feel so much better. I do things and I don't sit in the darkness, I have friends and started going to church. It was a really good thing.

Well, now that I have talked you ears off. I forgot to share one thing from the weekend!

See who won? we were playing dominoes! Thank you for making me feel good! 


I hope that all of you have a wonderful day!